WithMaliciousIntent

“I’m so tired. I’m so tired of being sad. This is what depression is. Depression is being tired of just everything. Of going through the same daily functions. Depression eats away at you slowly, it darkens even your brightest thoughts. No matter how much your life is punctuated by happiness, you constantly find the sadness and you live inside of it. You move with it, you are surrounded by it. It’s not like you haven’t tried to be happy, tried to find the good in between all the bad, it’s just that the bad seems to out live all the good. It’s not that I want to die really, I don’t want to kill my

Sometimes it isn’t even, The words of a song that, Break my heart, It is simply, The soft lullaby of music, Raking hard nails, Across my soul, Bringing my mind, To painful ecstasy, As bittersweet memories, Fill my mouth and, Drip down my throat, I am moving, Through water and my thoughts, Are muffled by the crashing waves, So I close my eyes, Against the pain and, Cease to breath, Think or, Feel, If only briefly.

I am numb, A wall protects me, From the pain, A dull ache, Sits in my chest and, I feel wistful and, Sad and, Sigh.

Will you let me, Press my face into your hair and, Kiss the skin of your cheek and, Run my fingers along your side and, Feel content if only for a moment?

The tears fall, But you don’t feel them, Not at first. You are crying, But you are hollow, Your mind is blank. You reach up, And touch your wet cheeks, You are resigned to the tears, On them. Then the thought, Flashes through your mind, Burning through your heart. It sears itself, Like a white hot poker, Into your chest. The sobs roll, From your mouth, While the pain wraps, Ugly, scarred fingers, Around your lungs. You are crying.

I watch all the people, Laugh and, Pass me by. I feel an overwhelming sense of, Loss.

I am surrounded by people, But I feel so lonely. These tears rolling down my cheeks, Betray me. I cannot help the sobs, Rolling in my chest. Please forgive me, For this overwhelming sense of pain and, Alienation. I have so many secrets, In the back of my mind. I pretend to be, Something I am not, One day I will wake up, And realize, I do not know who I am anymore, And my sense of self, Will be skewed into oblivion, Help me, Rescue me, Before I shatter, Into a million and one, Pieces that cannot, Be retrieved. These words are my, Written confession, And these scars are, Proof of, The battles I have faced. Please see me, For what I am and, Wha

Sometimes the pressure is just too much to bear, Holding this load up on my own, It's breaking every bone, Inside my fragile body, I can't breath without the suffering, Of this great pain, I know if I begin to cry, I will never stop, Until I am drowning, Drowning, Buried in this confusion, I cannot see the road I am walking on, Anymore, And when I turn around, I am unsure, Of where I have been, And of, Where I am going. These words, Only temporarily, Relieve the pain. Someone, Save me, From myself.